Bullying is Not Okay at Any Age
Bullying is not okay at any age.
Bullying, by definition, is the “use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.”
It is not just for kids at school either. Adults at work also experienced bullying. As kids, we talk to adults or counselors for help. But as adults, we may have no one to talk to after we finished high school, finished college, and get into the workforce.
The “winning” dilemma
Humans like to win. However, some will consider unfairly harming others to better themselves, and either they don’t realize the consequences of what they did, or they see nothing wrong about it. In the latter instance, the bully does whatever means necessary to make sure they’re ‘better’ than the person being bullied. In turn, they gain attention, power, and control, but winning at all costs is the most fundamental drive of bullying because it feels good for them.
In the working world, bullies use their title, salary, connection, and knowledge in an attempt to intimidate others. Some may be very powerful, but at what cost?
Cyberbullying
In addition to face-to-face bullying, cyberbullying is a form of bullying by using electronic communication through digital devices such as a computer or a cell phone. From those devices, they log into social media sites (e.g. Facebook, Twitter), forums, or gaming streams (e.g. Twitch). It is even worse than face-to-face bullying because the bully believes that he/she is anonymous and thus increasing the potency of their harmful messages against the target victim.
What to do?
Back to the opening sentence. Bullying is not okay at any age – not 8, not 17, not 35, and definitely not frickin’ 60.
First, we have extensive resources for kids and teenagers about bullying – what it is, and how to prevent them:
- https://www.stopbullying.gov – The official website of the United States government about bullying
- https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/bullies.html?view=ptr&WT.ac=t-ptr – How to deal with bullying for teens
- http://www.apa.org/topics/bullying/ – From the American Psychological Association. Covers all ages including office bullying
- https://cyberbullying.org/ – A website specific about cyberbullying
What about adults?
- http://www.mentalhealthsupport.co.uk/adultbullying.html – An informational article about adult bullying
- https://lifehacker.com/how-to-handle-being-bullied-as-an-adult-1726099137 – A Lifehacker blog that specifically talks about adult bullying
Of all these resources, there is one basic approach to counter the bullying:
Stand up to them. Do not let them win. If we stay silent, the bully will sense weakness and will continue to attack. However, one very important point: we must not harm the bully in return, because then we will become the bully, which isn’t the desired result. Stand up to the bully, and let the rest go.
In the movie A Better Tomorrow II, Ken decided to fight back because the bully disrespected his sweat and blood: rice. (However, please don’t do what he did next.)
In this #1 Japanese TV show Hanzawa Naoki, the character of the same name frequently utters this phrase: “If you mess with me, I mess you back. Double payback!”
If it turns out to be difficult, we can tell someone we trust, – friend, teacher, or counselor. The bully is only half of the problem – the other is not sharing it and keep it to ourselves, ending in depression and even suicide. We must not let this happen.
To the bullies: how about simply love others instead? You’ll be more popular.
-Sam